We have a List of Desirable Characteristics. Exactly why is it problematic for Women to Commit?

Reader Question:

Me: 46 yrs . old, African-American male, professional profession, resident, good-looking, 20-year-old daughter. We date outside my competition. I am in excellent form.

This indicates approximately ladies want a committed connection, they do not want to invest in me personally. I actually do have a “list” of desirable faculties — attractive, able to care for the woman funds, a social or nondrinker and someone who is actually eager and able to take a trip and do things.

Why is it difficult for ladies to dedicate while I give external signs and symptoms of wanting to take a loyal relationship?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Mark,

Yes, way too many ladies are acting like men (or how they THINK guys act) and they are avoiding dedication. However, i’ll show there are still a lot more women who wish a secure connection than not.

I’m questioning precisely why you might seem are interested in women that prevent a great connect. Could this end up being your option in goals?

My personal recommendation is always to consult with women whom you may not at first be keen on and see should you decide limber up for them. Sometimes all of our failure to obtain a safe commitment is related to our very own fears of abandonment.

This basically means, we chose lovers who can not get near to protect all of us from getting “dangerously” close and exposure abandonment.

Attempt online dating the type of person you’ve never, actually outdated before. Go slow. And look closely at how you feel on the way.

Do you become quickly envious, wanna manage the woman time or wish secure the deal too fast? The secret will be consist of yourself and quell your very own worries.

No counseling or psychotherapy guidance: your website doesn’t supply psychotherapy information. This site is intended only for usage by consumers on the lookout for basic details interesting with respect to problems folks may deal with as individuals and also in interactions and associated subject areas. Content just isn’t meant to replace or act as replacement for specialist consultation or solution. Contained findings and viewpoints really should not be misconstrued as certain counseling guidance.

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